When Am I Going To Lose You
by GallifreyDarling
Summary: Her mother was dead. Sent back to the Leaf Village, her mother's old village, under mysterious circumstances, chunin Ayana Hyuga is less than thrilled. All she knows is that the Leaf Village and her mother's old friends are the enemies, so how can she suddenly be expected to trust the seventh Hokage and her new mentors? Why has she been sent here? (Longer summary inside)
1. Prologue: Origins

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

**WARNING: some characters, specifically Boruto characters are OOC. In the most loving way I will say if you don't want to read anything out of the ordinary and like to see our beloved characters as they usually act, you probably will not like this according to some of the reviews I've received. Basically all you need to know regarding that is that my OC is the instigator. So if you believe that the the Naruto-verse characters are acting out of the ordinary, it's not their faults,** **and ****I am aware they are OOC. The reason I wrote them this way is because I wanted to highlight the character's aloneness (of her own choosing) and distrust as this is a large theme; I wanted to explore what hatred and distrust do to people since these are larger themes of Naruto as well. This isn't me trying to ruin the Boruto characters that I do have in here, nor is it me trying to write a Mary Sue; my character is deeply flawed and if I had to choose between her and the Naruto characters regarding her actions, I'd take their side every time. This is a story I've been working on for years and I know doesn't all follow canon because of it lol. Relax though please, it's fanfiction. We're all here to have fun and I APPRECIATE all you readers taking the time to even read! Just keep what I said in mind. :) Please read the summary and the note underneath! **

**Longer summary: **After the Fourth Great Shinobi War, Hinata breaks away as do other members of different villages to create new Shinobi villages not apart of that organization. (A little out of character as well, I am aware; but she is dead so isn't a huge part of the story.) Her daughter, Ayana, knows about the original Shinobi union that houses her mother's home village, but what she "knows" is that they wronged the new villages; beyond that, however, Hinata doesn't speak about her past life. As a result Ayana grows up with a distrust toward other villages and outsiders. Her mother's last act before she was brutally murdered is to send her across lands to her previous home, but how can Ayana trust the new village, the seventh hokage, and new mentors after her experiences growing up? And how can she stay there now, especially when her whole purpose is to now get revenge against those who turned her world upside down?

Naruto is now tasked with training the girl and he is harboring some secrets of his own. She digs up a lot of painful memories for him, while at the same time Kakashi, Sasuke, Sakura, and Tsunade are keeping one bombshell of a secret. These secrets and the choice to keep them threaten the very world they fought so hard to build. What will happen when the secrets start to spill?

_**I started thinking of this story before Boruto was around, so I'm trying to incorporate some characters in where they fit- it's a hell of a lot easier, and probably more enjoyable to read for you all since you know the characters, than making up all new characters. Sasuke is a pretty integral part to this story since a major theme is revenge, so he'll be around more than is canon. **_

_**Because it's been floating around my head for so long, it's difficult to get on paper juuuuust right. Overall I'm trying to keep characterization up since that's what we all fell in love with in the first place! Feel free to leave a comment and constructive criticism. :)**_

_Is it so hard to forgive the way_

_That we've been made to live?_

_How much is required to set things right?_

_Have you confused your power with mine?_

_Tennis "Origins"_

There was a lot I promised myself I'd never write down. You know, too dangerous and all that. My mother taught me that writing lasts forever and any permanent record can be used against you in any measure the enemy chooses; they can use any and all information to track you and beyond that they can use any sensitive information to gain an advantage, going so far as to hurt the ones you love most. In any case it's better to keep all records temporary or encrypted as much as possible, or at least that was the rule she reminded me of everyday.

As careful as my mother was, I assume this slip up is the reason I ended up crouched into the follow arch of a tree in the longest thunderstorm we had all summer. The wind howled for weeks though no rain blew in, and I even remember looking into the sky the week before, staring at the clouds running across the sky away from our village, with an eerie feeling crawling up my spine as I thought the wind was bringing something else entirely, a foreshadowing of sorts.

I didn't think that it would usher in the burning of my home, my mother's throat spraying blood through the hallways, a folded note with instructions to the _konohagakure_ written seventeen years ago, and a six day trip that left me dumped in a tree closest to the gates of the village.

Lightning struck the sky and spotlighted the looming gates into the village before darkness shrouded it in a shadow again. The same flash illuminated a man standing next to the gates, casually, as though waiting for someone, unphased by the rain and wind.

That must be him, I thought, the person my mom told me would be waiting. My muscles tensed as I braced myself to crawl into the rain but stopped short. Wait. But what if it wasn't? What if the enemy arrived here before me? What if this was the end?

I sank deeper into the tree again as a thought struck me at the same moment a tree branch fell directly into my path with a _WHACK_: _But I also didn't care if the enemy got me._

Lightning lit up the sky again for longer, giving me a moment to take in the figure. I could see long black hair and the Leaf Village's symbol. But I also noticed something else: the figure was looking directly at me. Awesome. I made it six days without so much as a run-in with anyone, and as soon as I get here I'm noticed in a blackout thunderstorm. You're getting sloppy, Ayana.

_CRACK! BOOM! _Thunder boomed as another bolt of lightning crackled through the sky. I could see this time that he figure held his hand up, the other hand jammed into his pocket. I took a shaky breath.

I could stay here and catch pneumonia or get struck by lightning. Or I could trust him. If he was from the Leaf Village I am safe...but if he was from the Leaf Village he might not be safe. Memories from my mom echoed in the back of my mind. Or he could be who murdered my mother and let me think I was getting to safety before striking, making my journey all the more worse.

Outside the tree the rain rang out louder as it picked up the pace. Okay. So I couldn't just stay here. I fingered the folded up paper in my hand, conflicting thoughts bouncing around my skull. What are the odds that the man standing outside was the man whose name appeared on this paper? Was he really going to come as my mother wrote? I'd never heard her so much as mention his name, though to be fair she didn't speak much of her past before me. All I knew that this village ruined my mother's life and killed her entire family; this village and others left a sour taste in the mouths of our village and the surrounding ones after the Fourth Great Shinobi War. Plus what if sixteen years was too long and she only thought their relationship, in whatever sense, held fast? My mother was never wrong, but this was uncharted territory… What if these people weren't the same as she knew them? She made it clear she left for a reason. And this was against everything I ever learned in school… _You do not trust other villages, especially outside our organization. _

The question of _Why? _loomed large in my head again. I mean, why would she even send me here, to a place she maintained didn't care for their own villagers? I could see her large pleading eyes inches from my face, feel her hand painfully squeezing mine as she pressed the handwritten directions to the Hidden Leaf Village into my hand. "_Go_," she had hissed. "_Now. Run._"

If she didn't look so serious- or if I didn't even see her myself- I never would have believed these directions were real. I'd never have believed she wanted me in the Leaf Village in the first place. Why would she tell me I had to leave my home to a village she herself had fled?

My legs vibrated as lightning struck ahead and the thunder boomed louder, announcing its arrival at the gates. I didn't really have any more time. The man at the gate was now beckoning me with his hand. Since he knew I was there and there was a large possibility I was going to die if I stayed, I didn't really have any other choice than to go.

In the directions scroll my mother also included the name of the man who would be meeting me along with a code phrase. I checked the scroll one last time to ensure I remembered it and began to crawl out into the storm. Wind whipped water into my face so hard I was sure I'd have bruises, but I pushed on as fast as I could to the man who still stood unmoving in it with both hands now jammed in his pockets.

I reached him, and immediately made note of his looming presence. He threw his head back to clear his drenched hair from his eyes and his dark eyes immediately pierced mine, beckoning me to speak. He did not smile.

_This is it, Ayana. You have to say something._

_ "Wouldn't it be fine to see the rookie nine all alive again?" _I sputtered forward as he confidently spoke the phrase simultaneously. Overhead the thunder crashed again, shaking the ground beneath us.

"We have to hurry," the man said. "This storm might kill us if we don't get inside." He looked back to me before pushing open the gate doors. "Oh. And welcome to the Village Hidden in the Leaves."


	2. Origins Con't

_View in there a pitied pair_

_Denoted by a scene unfair_

_Will you make my children bear_

_The consequences everywhere?_

_Tennis "Origins"_

**_Earlier that night_**

"Why does she trust you to do this?" Sakura leaned forward at the table.

She and Sasuke were seated across from each other at their large kitchen table, arms folded. Usually their conversations had no need for such formalities, but this serious occasion seemed to call for it.

"I think my past qualifies me for something like this," Sasuke responded coolly. He didn't mean to be so vague right now, but there was really no way to explain something like this to Sakura. She didn't understand revenge the way he did.

"But why would Hinata ask _you_ for something like this _years_ ago?" Sakura continued. "Why not someone like, I don't know… _Naruto_? You weren't even close to her."

"Look, Sakura, I didn't even think this would ever come to be. She just asked if her daughter ever needed it, if someone did end up coming to look for her, if I could take her in. She knew that her daughter would need someone who understood."

"Understood?" She scoffed. "Understood what?" She just couldn't understand how Sasuke agreed sixteen years ago to take in a child of a deflected ninja. The whole story didn't make much sense.

"Hinata could have very well sought revenge right then and there for the murder of her whole family," Sasuke replied. "It would be...understandable. But she didn't. She left and started a new life with others who felt the same. Though no one is forgiving her for such a thing, she could have made a lot more problems than she did. The least she could do is open up her daughter to a life she herself couldn't accept."

"But why would she want her child to come to a place she doesn't even know?" The questions swirled her brain.

"You don't understand the pain of losing the only family you have. The emotions her daughter must be feeling right now are indescribable, Sakura, so I'm not even going to waste my time trying to explain this to you."

Sakura reeled backwards at his condescending response. She should have been used to it, but she felt this situation didn't need him to talk down to her.

"Sorry," he replied curtly. "I just feel we have some sort of duty to offer a place up at the request of an old friend. Before any of this shit gets worse… She deserves it. The village deserves it. And it buys us time to be able to stave off an attack. This might start some healing before history inevitably repeats itself."

When Sakura didn't say anything, just stared with lips pursed and eyes darkened, he continued. "Hinata thought what she was doing at the time was right, but the separation is just going to spiral us down a new path of war. What she was trying to avoid then - war- is coming back now because of her actions. We know this. We've been feeling this for months. We don't know what they want but it's coming. It was exactly what Hinata predicted might happen and I was stupid for not thinking it would. She knew something would occur."

Sakura sat back, arms crossed, still staring at her husband. Slowly she leaned forward again. "Does Naruto know? You know…"

"As the Seventh Hokage, yes," Sasuke cut in. "I made him aware that someone new is coming into the village. He wishes to speak with her as soon as she gets in."

Sakura sighed. "I trust you. As long as you're sure nothing will happen… We have to think of Sarada too."

"She is nothing to worry about. And like I said at the start of all this, she is on her way- I've been tracking her." Sasuke stood to grab his cloak. "We will be in by morning. Prepare a room."


	3. Dopamine

_Shots wringing out_

_I'm soaking_

_Eardrums shaking and_

_Years start weighing me_

_DOWN_

_DIIV "Dopamine" _

As Sasuke closed his home's door behind me, the sound of the rain was immediately muffled and warmth encased me. I was safe.

"Come," he had said once inside the gates of the village. "We will speak once indoors."

We walked quickly with my head bent down to keep the rain from blurring my sight so I didn't get much of a view of the village that first night. I followed his shoes as he wove in and out of the streets; I tried to mentally map the path in case I needed to run.

Relievingly I didn't need to. Inside the foyer of the house I shivered and watched helplessly as I dripped all over the floor. _Wonderful._

"It's really okay. Let's get you into warmer clothes." A pink haired woman emerged from the shadows of the next room and immediately held out her hand for the small bag I held tightly in my hand. I didn't realize I had been squeezing it until I tried to release my fingers; they ached and cracked as I handed it over.

"I'm Sakura and I assume my husband Sasuke introduced himself," the woman said, instantly floating into the next room with my belongings. She had a warmness about her, one that reminded me of my mother, and I couldn't help but follow her after I removed my shoes.

"These should do, right?" She had stopped abruptly at a table and now held out neatly folded clothes. "These are our daughter Sarada's. They look like they fit?"

Sasuke wandered behind me, his shadow overcasting mine. "I think so." I just blinked at them. Honestly I didn't really know what to say. All of this was happening so fast- twenty minutes ago I was in a tree and now I was in a stranger's home being offered clothes of some girl's I also didn't know? This situation fit awkwardly with my usual behavior- this was against everything I had been taught growing up, and a voice in the back of my head screamed and pounded at me to leave.

But I reached out and took the clothes. "Thank you." My voice cracked.

"Look," Sasuke continued before an awkward silence could completely shroud us. "I don't want to inundate you with too much talking tonight; you probably need sleep. We'll discuss more tomorrow: the Hokage wants to meet with you in the morning."

I raised an eyebrow. The Hokage? I just got here and the head of the village wanted to speak to me? I thought back to my own village. I guess it made sense- my mother met with anyone new who wandered into the village for safety reasons. Even though I didn't have plans of staying long, it made sense that he'd want to see me, vet me. Clearly these people knew more than I did so I assumed the Hokage would as well.

"Yeah. Okay."

Sakura looked away for a moment before turning her eyes back to me. "Any questions you have, we are here to answer them for you."

The last week flooded my mind- where do I begin?

"But before you start," she continued, "I just want to say...I am sorry. I am so sorry these are the circumstances we meet. But I want you to know that you are safe." Her eyes locked with mine to let me know she meant her words. "You are safe and we are here to help you in any way we can."

The warmth was finally permeating my bones. At once the exhaustion took hold: Where could I start? All the thoughts were jumbled in my head and there were so many questions, so many relying on one another, that I didn't know where to start. The idea of speaking suddenly seemed impossible and I just wanted to sleep, really _sleep_, for the first time in six days.

Maybe the questions could wait. Maybe. All but one…

"So...how do you know my mother?" the words slipped out of my mouth before I could stop them.

Sasuke and Sakura exchanged glances. "She was an old friend," Sakura responded. "Before she left."

"I promised her to take you in if anything happened," Sasuke added. "Something like this."

But how could she have known? How did she get a hold of them? Their answer didn't bring me more comfort like I thought it would, the comfort I had been seeking so I'd feel safe enough to sleep for a few hours. I thought about the scroll in my pocket with the directions. They were dated sixteen years ago before I was even born. More questions flooded my brain.

They must have noticed the worry etched on my face because Sakura gestured toward the hall. "Maybe sleep first would be good."


	4. What You Know

_In a few weeks I will get time_

_To realize it's right before my eyes_

_And I can take it if it's what I want to do_

_I am leaving _

_And this is starting to feel like_

_It's right before my eyes_

_And I can taste it_

_It's my sweet beginning_

_Two Door Cinema Club "What You Know"_

That night the nightmares set in. Around me my mother's screams swirled with the shadows and whirring of kunais slicing the air. Flashes of light illuminated my nightmares as I reached out to touch them. My home. No. Not my home. Running. Legs not moving fast enough. The burning of smoke curling in my nostrils. I could feel myself floating through the waves of this memory, looking from the outside in. I opened my mouth to scream but no sound came out. How do I get to her? I had to get to her-

This replayed in my mind as I stood outside the seventh Hokage's heavy oak doors. The questions of last night swirled around my head again. Honestly I didn't know how to feel about meeting the Hokage. I knew there were a lot of questions coming or even revelations; I needed to know I could trust them, and I knew meeting with him was the first step. I wouldn't be here long, I couldn't be- there was too much to attend to. I had to get back, had to help my village undo the chaos I forced to flee in. I couldn't spend all day speaking to the Hokage- I'd get what I needed to know, the answers to my questions, and get out. I was surprised and even a little disappointed I allowed myself to stay in a village that destroyed my mother so much.

It was now or never so I pushed open the doors to reveal a tall, thin blonde man behind a large desk with chairs in front of it. He smiled warmly as I shuffled in behind Sakura. Clear sunlight bathed his office, and instantly I noticed that somehow his office was set up so similar to my mother's; part of me couldn't believe that she wasn't the figure smiling behind the desk.

The Hokage stood and opened his arms. "Ayana. Welcome," he stated, a little too enthusiastically. "Please come in. Call me Naruto."

"Um. Hi." _Be respectful of your elders,_ my mother's voice whispered in my ear. I stopped and bowed awkwardly. "...Naruto."

He grinned wider and gestured for the chairs in front of his desk. "Please, take a seat. I'm sure your journey was tiring."

We sat and I forced myself to uncross my arms from my chest. _Look confident, Ayana. _

"I'm sure you're wondering why I called you here," the Hokage said. He paused waiting for my response.

I just nodded.

He continued. "I wanted to tell you personally how sorry I am about your mother. I'm so sorry for meeting you under these circumstances." His sentiment echoed Saskura and Sasuke's but his voice sounded more genuine than even Sakura's. "I want you to feel comfortable here. I want you to feel like this is home," he finished.

I let his words wash over me. Home? _Home_? Even my mother didn't think this was home. Why the hell would I think of this as home? To keep my arms from crossing to protect me I dug my thumb nail into my index finger and stared back.

"Thank you," I forced myself to say. Discomfort crept up my back. I suddenly had a new feeling that I wasn't here just for him to vet me. And why would he call me in just to say sorry about the death of a woman who left the village? There had to be more.

"So I wanted to discuss the matter of you staying in the village," he added.

Bingo. Of course there was more.

"Oh, I'm sorry…" I couldn't help but laugh lowly. "I don't think I'm staying for very long. There's nothing really to discuss. But thank you for welcoming me," I added, thinking of my mother's rules on respect. I began to stand.

"Ayana." He sighed and leaned forward, cupping his hands together. Something in his serious tone made me look back at him. "Hinata made it clear she wanted you to stay," he said. "I know this is difficult for you, but this was your mother's home and she wanted-"

Rudely I cut him off. I didn't care if he was Hokage: he had no right. "No," I replied sternly, all rules of respect flying out the window. "This is not my mother's home. This is not _my_ home-"

But then I saw it. My stomach dropped and my eyes widened as they locked onto a photo of nine kids behind him; immediately I recognized my mother among the smiling, her hands in front of her, looking mekely at the camera. Swallowing back the urge to cry, I dug my nail deeper into my finger and had to sit down to keep from passing out at the immediate surge of blood rushing to my face.

Beside me Sakura looked down at her lap. My eyes traveled to the Hokage whose lips were pursed and eyes stared pleadingly with me. "Please sit," he asked lowly.

My knees buckled slightly but I stayed standing. _Home._ This was home at one point for her...I just saw proof of it. "I'll hear you out…but that's all," I warned. "I owe you nothing else."

"Thank you," he replied. "As I was saying. Your mother's wish is for you to stay, you know… I know you don't know us, and I don't know how much your mother told you. But as Hokage and an old friend of your mother, I want to honor her wish. And…" A knife twisted in my chest. "I will tell you everything you need to know if you give it a chance."

Our eyes locked. This guy had me. I always obeyed my mother, and here was this man, these people, who also knew her, who also wanted to obey her in the same manner I did. I could at least stay for a while, listen to her one last time. I could try... I began to sit slowly.

"Continue," I whispered, my voice cracking.

"So. My understanding is you are a chunin."

I nodded silently.

"However, if you are to stay and continue being a kunoichi you will need to go through the chunin test here... You need more schooling."

Wait, what? That was all I needed to stand again. "No disrespect, Lord Hokage," I blurted, "but I'm sixteen… and I'm a chunin, like you said. I don't really need...any of this." I looked around the room filled with books that looked untouched, subconsciously searching for more pictures, more remnants of my mother.

"Your rules are different than ours," he said. "I understand your respect and dedication to your own village, but if you will be staying here I need to make sure you are prepared for _here_." He nodded as though he understood what I was thinking, feeling about this bombshell. "I want to personally train you," he furthered.

Again… what? I could feel my blood start to rise at this man who didn't even know me try to dictate my life. A week ago I was on missions in my own village, with my friends, reporting back to my mother and my own sensei, and this week I was being told by a man I never even met that I have more schooling to attend by his own rule? "I mean, I don't actually know how long I'll be staying," I scoffed. "Ultimately I have to get back to my village. To be honest I'm still not even sure why I'm here."

"If you stay I'll tell you everything," he repeated, holding his hand up, his blue eyes once again piercing mine, beckoning me to believe him. "I keep my word. I have a feeling your mother did not tell you much about this place or these people…?" He raised an eyebrow.

"No," I agreed coolly.

"Then I promise you that we will help you. And if at the end of this you still want to leave, I will let you walk out of here and never bother you again. My word. But please give your mother's last request a chance and us a chance to show you you can trust us. But without the proper training, you cannot fight. You cannot be a ninja."

Shit. Again I was stuck. Not only was I indebted to my mother, my only family, but I also knew my purpose. And without being a ninja how could I enact revenge? He _was _Hokage so clearly he knew a lot...maybe he _could _be a decent help. Plus he had me: if I was here for a while I had to be committed to this village; there were no traces of my own village or traditions in this land.

Staring back, I finally spoke. "Fine. I'll do it."

"We start tomorrow then," he said standing and gestured to the door. "Rest up." For as nice and sunny he was during the entire meeting, I could sense an edge to his voice. A challenge.

I wasn't sure who this man was, but I knew my stay was about to get interesting.


	5. Afraid

**Thanks for sticking with this. :) **

"_You're too mean, I don't like you,_

_Fuck you anyway._

_You make me wanna scream at the top of my lungs._

_It hurts but I won't fight you._

_You suck anyway._

_You make me wanna die._

_When I wake up, I'm afraid,_

_Somebody else might take my place."_

"_Afraid" The Neighbourhood_

"_Traitor."_

That was the first word I heard hissed at me as I walked into the classroom.

I had arrived that morning for my first class before beginning to work with the Hokage; he informed me that he'd like to supplement my lessons with him with "information I may have not received" in my own village. I wasn't totally sure what that meant, and definitely didn't think I needed to be there, but here I was standing at the top of the class with all eyes turned back- and narrowed- on me. Hesitating at the door, I tried to speak. "Hello?"

"Good morning." The sensei at the front of the room spun around from the board. "Welcome! I heard we would have a new student be joining us. Please sit, we have a seat up at the front." He waved his hand to the one seat in the front row.

I felt the heat rise in my face and started down the steps, trying to avoid people's eyes and the obvious rise of whispers.

"_That's her!_" One voice hit me square in the shoulder blades as I shuffled past. "That's the girl who's staying in my house! Oh my god, doesn't she just _look_ like she's going to kill us all?"

Almost to my seat now, I couldn't hold back. My head snapped back to glare at a girl whose face I had seen plastered around Sakura and Sasuke's house, meeting the surprised eyes of their daughter Sarada. I opened my mouth to say something, to bark a reply at her, but the sensei jumped first.

"Sarada, I don't want to hear another word out of you, do you understand? Everyone, quiet. The presence of another person doesn't give you permission to disrupt."

I turned from her and sat down in my seat. _Don't let her get to you_. Word obviously traveled quickly around this village and people already knew there was an outsider. I could feel their eyes boring a hole into the back of my head.

"Anyway," the sensei continued. "Back to what I was saying before our interruption. Today we will be discussing the formation of the Second Shinobi Union after the split as a result of The Fourth Shinobi War and the consequences of-"

At that moment the door to the classroom slammed open.

"Ah, Hokage, welcome." The sensei's whole face lit up as he looked up at the new arrival. "Lots of visitors today!"

The whole class rustled to look backwards again, myself included this time. This had to have been about me.

"Sorry to interrupt like this." The Hokage grinned and rubbed the back of his head. "Am I able to take Ayana with me? I promise I won't interrupt like this again…" His eyes scanned the room and found mine. "I got the time wrong."

Again, the class erupted into whispers- the traitor now had a name, and their Hokage was taking her with him. "Of course," he replied and gestured at me, but I was already standing and packing my bag onto my back. I wanted out immediately. Beyond the whispers, they were preparing to discuss the history of their village and the _creation_ of mine following the last war. This was some sort of history class from their point of view. No wonder the Hokage wanted me in it...but it also should have been no wonder I was itching to get out of my skin and flee.

I rushed past the students and this time picked out a few more words out of the cacophony of sharp whispers.

"Is she under arrest?"

"_Is he working with her_?"

"Why is she even here?"

"My dad said that she-"

I was out the door before I heard what the kid's dad had said and whipped around to face Naruto as the door clicked shut behind him.

"What was that?!" I exclaimed.

"Good morning to you too," he replied cheekily. He stood with his hands in his pockets, watching me, clearly amused, as I began to pace the hall. I wasn't going to just let this fly. I couldn't.

"No! You wanting to work with me? Fine. Wanting me to take a class? Not so fine, but I agreed to it anyway. But a class that discusses my village? When they don't know them? And I don't know them? Crossing the line." I seethed, still pacing, unable to make myself look at him. "I just don't get it."

Naruto sighed and leaned back against the wall with his hands still in his pockets. "I thought it would be good for you, to learn a little of where your mother came from and how your village came to be."

"You think I don't know that?!"

"I think you don't know the whole story," he stated calmly.

I spun back to face him. He was staring at me thoughtfully, his eyes regarding me cautiously because he didn't know what I'd do, yet obviously entertained by my explosion; no matter what I did he knew he could take it. "I think I know enough. I think…" I stopped for a second and tried to catch one of the spiraling thoughts blowing through my mind. "This is just a lot to take in at one time."

"I get that," he replied. "And that's why I pulled you out. After realizing the specific topic today I came in to get you. I thought maybe some one-on-one time would be good before throwing you into the classroom."

Hm. He didn't break eye contact as though challenging me to dispute him. I decided to back down. "Okay."

A grin grew on his face and he turned to start down the hall. "Come on then. Let's train for a while and get some ramen. You're going to need it once I'm done with you. My treat!"

I followed, dragging a bit behind, and regarded the man who floated down the road with an obvious pep in his step. I couldn't figure him out. He seemed goofy yet genuine, like he clearly cared about what he did, but he didn't feel the need to be overly serious about it. My mother raised me to always keep on a serious face. I always felt as if something was important I couldn't slip up and be goofy; shinobi business is _business_. This man, somehow Hokage of his village, could be breezy about his work. That couldn't make for a very strong kage, could it?

Once we reached a block from the academy leading to the outskirts of town, he dropped back to walk beside me. "So. Chunin. You feel up to showing me what you got? I have high expectations." I had a feeling this was him trying to egg me on as he grinned widely at me again.

"I'm studying to be a jonin so I think I can do more than what you expect," I replied coolly.

"Well, if you're anything like your mother I believe you have a great ability."

My eyes immediately cast down to the ground and I felt my words catch in my throat at his mention; I forgot he knew her and suddenly felt exposed, like a piece of my heart was bleeding outright on my sleeve for everyone to see. But I couldn't let him see any crevice of weakness cracking in my exterior.

"You don't really know her," I said firmly.

I could see from the corner of my eye him side eye me. "Oh, I don't? I'm pretty sure she grew up here and I grew up with her, if I remember correctly."

I stopped at the edge of the field we were walking into. "You don't know her and you sure as hell don't know me." Who the _fuck_ was this man to tell me who I or my mother was? "You said you would tell me 'everything' if I stay, whatever everything is, but you're going to act like you already know my life and push me? You're right. My mother is...was...an amazing fighter. She taught me so much, almost everything I know. So who the hell are you to think you can come in and just take her place? And that's another thing!"

Once the words started tumbling they couldn't stop.

"I still don't fully understand why you even want to train me."

"Everyone needs a mentor, Ayana," he stated calmly again at my second outburst in twenty minutes.

"What makes you think you're a good one when you don't even know me?" As soon as the words tumbled out of my mouth I realized it was harsh to say. My mother taught me that you do not speak that way to your elders, and I couldn't ever imagine snapping at my mother or another kage, but the words were true nonetheless and needed to come out. My blood was rising, my chakra burning and churning with my anger. I felt like a wounded animal, backed into a corner and lashing out, and I didn't know how to stop my insecurities from leaking out any other way. I felt like he was overstepping his boundaries, but I couldn't quite define what those boundaries were- I just wanted to hide.

His eyes flashed for a second and I expected bruising words spewed back into my face, but instead he did something I couldn't have prepared for. He began to laugh.

"Oh, you have so much to learn." And with those words I caught a glimpse of a kunai in the corner of my eye traveling straight for my face. I dodged just in time to feel the small breeze in its trail as it zoomed past my nose.

"_Byakugan_!"

And that's how it started, my first training session with the Hokage. It wasn't a choreographed dance as it was with my mother, the stopping and starting, the barking of orders until we were bending in an impassioned, fluid dance, me always on the defense against her while she pushed me to my limits. This was messy. A man who hardly looked like my mother, or functioned like her, not the ice I was used to but fire- actual fire- but someone who clearly was going to push me to my limits.

I fell backwards for the twelfth time after a failed lunge to gain the upperhand, gasping for breath.

"Here's the deal," he hissed. Another dodge.

"_You don't know me either_. You can be hurt." Dodge. "You can lash out, pretending you're too good for this place." Lunge. "You can pretend you know everything there is to know about me, this village, the world." Dodge again.

"But don't you ever, _ever_, _EVER_ tell me I don't know Hinata Hyuga!" As I tried to lunge one last time, he pinned me to the ground, a knife to my throat, his face inches from mine. All I could feel was heat.

Was he _threatening_ me? More importantly...did he see through me? Was he calling me out? My crevice of pain for my mother sealed instantly and a wall raised. I could feel my chakra mix with my anger but this time stronger. Different. Not anger but...rage. This man, knowing me for hours, was trying to pin me, metaphorically and physically… I couldn't let him win. It was rare that I could feel this out of control but when I did my mother called it my red chakra, for whatever reason, and that was what was rising in my body.

I reached through my numbness to grab onto his throat, but instead of the pain I expected to see in his eyes, they just twinkled and laughed. "_DO. NOT._" I shrieked and squeezed at his taunting, losing the words in my throat as my fingers gripped his neck.

In front of me I saw a flash of orange and his neck dropped in my hands...not his neck. A log. Substitution.

I gaped up at him as the real Naruto just smirked down at me from above. "That's what I want to see," he said. "That anger. Channel it. I knew you had that in you. Don't let anyone speak to you that way- I sure as hell don't."

"That…" I tried to find the words as he casually began to retrieve the knives strewn about the grass. "You tried to get me like that... on purpose?"

"Yeah, I told you that everyone needs a mentor. That's my job, to find what makes you tick, you know? You have a lot of rage pent up, deservedly so. Plus I told you…" He stopped picking up our mess to glare directly into my eyes; they were unreadable, causing a shiver to rise in my spine. "You aren't the only one who knew your mother. I might as well start with what I knew would work for her: she wouldn't give up either." And with that he pocketed all the knives and retreated backwards. "All right, again. And don't hold back this time." A smile played at his lips and his eyes gained their sparkle back.

In the middle of our first fight, he knew how to tap into my reserve of rage, something that I didn't even know how to do willingly. It was at that moment I gained an ounce of respect for the Hokage. It wasn't much, but it was a start.


	6. Like You're Mine

"_And so it goes_

_A choking rose back_

_To be reborn_

_I want to hold you like you're mine_

_You're gone but you're on my mind_

_I'm lost but I don't know why"_

"_Agnes" Glass Animals_

"So how did today go?"

Sakura sat down in a chair opposite of Naruto's desk as he stared out his window. The sun set behind them, casting an orange and purple glow on the village as it and its leader cooled down.

"About as well as expected," he replied, turning back to face her. "Ayana definitely has a guard up which is understandable. She's also very talented and I think will do just fine in the Chunin exams, but definitely has a complex too that needs to be taken down a notch before that can happen."

"Hm." Sakura rolled her eyes. "Definitely sounds like someone else we know."

"And that's why I am perfect for this role." He grinned proudly. "Overall though she is easy to read so I don't think you'll have a problem with her if that's what you're worried about, but I think she will...how do I say...rub others the wrong way, you know? She's not going to trust easily and I already know we're going to butt heads quite a bit."

"Again. Another familiar trait," she deadpanned.

Naruto smiled warmly at her but faltered slightly as his eyes looked past her and settled at a picture on a shelf.

Sakura turned to trace his eye contact and pursed her lips. "You miss her," she said softly. "Don't you."

"More than you know."

"Did she write you?"

"Of course. I didn't know who it was from at first until Sasuke said he received word from her too; she didn't sign it." He pulled out a piece of parchment from his pocket and handed it to Sakura. It was creased as though he looked at it frequently; she tried to ignore the smudges on it that she suspected were tear stains.

"_Train her well" _was all it said.

Sakura folded it and handed it back; Naruto immediately pocketed again.

"She never wrote you before though…? Like Sasuke?" She still couldn't wrap her head around the fact that Hinata had asked Sasuke to take her daughter in years ago, after she left the village.

Naruto shook his head, grimacing. "No." He wasn't in the mood to explain that there was contact, but none that he really counted. She buffed all advances over the years, even when he was writing for business and diplomacy. Hinata wanted nothing to do with Naruto as a human or the Leaf Village as allies. Her decisions affected both villages, both Shinobi Unions, the subject matter in the class that her daughter was now taking, and overall the course of the future. So even though she had written him back, it wasn't true communication. No, none that he wanted or counted anyway. He suspected her avoidance had to do with more than just losing her entire family during the war; she claimed she _couldn't_ be in the Leaf Village, and he just didn't understand.

"Well," Sakura said, attempting to change the subject and bring Naruto out of his head. "The rumor mill is already running. I heard Sarada and her friends discussing Ayana. She may not trust us but they certainly don't trust her; it may be difficult for her to fit in at the academy."

"I don't think she's worried about fitting in," Naruto laughed harshly. "And you cannot completely blame them. I am proud of their loyalty to the village- it's easy for them to dislike an outsider, one whose mother abandoned their home. And learning to work with others will make her stronger, and I believe that's also part of my duty to train her: forcing her to see the Leaf Village and our people. She needs all the training she can get. Which, by the way, Shikamaru believes they are close to finding Hinata's killers; they caught grumblings of Akatsuki-related activity today."

Sakura bit her lip. The Akatsuki? "How many jonin are dispatched?"

"Enough. We don't have much to worry about right now, it's under control. For right now just keep Ayana comfortable and all will be well. She just can't leave."

As the sun continued to set, they ended on more breezy subjects, and by the time the stars lit up the sky, Naruto was alone to wander home. Though he was used to ending the evening by himself, tonight felt especially lonely. The house felt too big, rooms too empty, filled with the ghosts of everyone who had ever touched his life.

He sat at his empty table set for one, seven empty chairs facing him, and chewed his dinner slowly.

"Dammit, Hinata." He allowed himself to say the words that echoed through his head for the last three days. His voice carried through the house, insidiously filling the rooms that never held children playing, a mother and father doting over them. Kisses goodnight. Sweet dreams. Watching over them, deliriously tired and even more deliriously in love. Chatter in the morning over breakfast. First day of the academy. His words noxiously penetrated the space that never saw the future he always pictured. It was always dead, but with Hinata alive there was always a chance, always a chance she'd come back and breathe life into it. But she clearly moved on while he waited for this something he didn't even know he was holding onto. Why was tonight the night he felt he was drowning?

_Train her well_.

"God fucking dammit, Hinata."


	7. Bonfire

**NOTE: This is where some Boruto characters get a little OOC. I was trying to write from the standpoint that they are confused as to why someone from another village and union, one they were taught to be wary of, is now here. Think about how, as a teenager, you'd probably feel if someone new and potentially threatening came to live with you, or how you'd feel if the highest person in the community begins working with that potentially threatening person. There would most likely be a lot of questions. As a result they're intrigued but not outright rude. And as for Ayana, she takes things a little far and instigates _them_.**

_We don't know which way to go_

_We don't know which way's home_

_And we blew up like a bonfire, fire, fire_

"_Bonfire" The Hunna_

_Thud. _My knife sliced through the air into my target on the tree. I threw another to the second target five feet above it, and even though the night shrouded it in total black by now, I could feel it in my bones that I hit it straight on. _Let the target become you. If you connect with it, become it, you can anticipate their strategies and movements. _I could hear my sensei's voice echoing as another thudded against the bark.

I marked targets onto the tree when I arrived home after ramen with Naruto, climbing higher and higher until I reached the top and pretended I was flying above this place and back home. It _was _beautiful… The sun cast golden shadows across the miles of forest surrounding us, fading off into white light as it expanded out of my vision. From my vantage point, cross legged on the top branch of the tree, it looked like it went on forever. Seeing the village sprawled out yet nestled inside the infinite amount of leaves, my stomach slowly soured as the realization dawned on me: I couldn't see my path in anymore. The trees swallowed the intricate route I had taken, and beyond that, even if I wanted to leave all I had was a rain washed mush of parchment with my mother's directions. A chill set into my bones; it was useless. Even with all the land before me I really was stuck for the time being. What were the odds I'd make it out alive with no directions to guide me home? All I could do was train and prepare.

"_She's _working with the _Hokage_?" My attention suddenly honed in on a sharp whisper originating from somewhere beyond the yard. I stopped throwing to listen.

"I know! Her mother betrayed the village and now her sensei is the Hokage? I didn't realize we were in the game of rewarding traitors."

"I mean, technically she isn't the traitor…" A male voice entered.

"But," continued the first voice, "she's _from _a traitor."

"That doesn't even make any sense, ChoCho."

"Yes it does! What if she attacks us at any minute? Sarada said her parents were being _super_ secretive about her getting here and staying here-"

"Yeah it was really weird-"

"-_AND_ her mom was the kage of her village and is the biggest reason we have two Unions! You heard Shino Sensei! You were there!"

I pulled myself in closer to the shadows from the tree that was already encased in darkness. So they definitely did know who I was and were just as in the dark about why I was here as I was. Clearly no one was talking and we were all left to our own devices to conjure a reason. To them, I was here to destroy their village. To me? Well. I still didn't have any ideas.

"I think we're overblowing this a little too much-"

"Ugh, Shikadai, aren't you worried? I heard my dad saying your dad is out on a mission regarding her. Aren't you worried she might just kill you while he's gone? What if she came to enact some sort of revenge?"

"She doesn't have any family. Her mom was murdered, Sarada… They are tracking down her murderer."

"Why? She's not even part of our village."

"It _can_ affect us, you know…"

I began to automatically tune them out. So these little brats thought they knew who I was? They thought I was special for working with the Hokage? I'd show them special… I stepped out from the shadows.

"Hey! Come out!"

Instantly I heard a sharp intake of breath as they realized they were discovered, but then the trees whispered softly, indicating their fleeing. Cowards. They didn't want to face me, they just wanted to run their mouths. If they wanted the opportunity to talk, then tomorrow in class I'd give them the opportunity to.

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

I arrived at the academy early the next morning for two reasons: to avoid having to walk past all the whispers and to stake out the elusive whisperers.

I didn't have to wait long to hear voices I recognized; two girls and a boy casually walked into class, this time discussing the upcoming Chunin exams.

"I feel ready," ChoCho said. "Moegi sensei said she thinks our whole team is prepared." They sat down. "I just wish we'd finally take time off from these pointless village history classes to train more."

Ah. So they didn't have a whole course load, they just had to take classes pertaining to their history, presumably to help them understand the course of events in hopes those events wouldn't happen again; they undoubtedly wanted to minimize the chances of further fracturing of the lands and villages. But how could they not understand that they just pushed people away through their actions? Understanding what happened didn't take away the chances of it happening again if they didn't change their behavior and culture, something my mother said she didn't believe to have changed.

I used the lull in conversation as my chance to stand and approach them. "Hey." The girls looked up from their books with raised eyebrows; the boy regarded me calmly. "Do you want to explain why you ran last night when I tried talking to you?"

"Ran? What are you talking about? We merely had somewhere to be," ChoCho replied smoothly.

"Oh really? At midnight? How strange." I sat down in the seat in front of them. "I don't believe that though, try again. New excuse."

The girls exchanged glances. "It's not an excuse…"

I crossed my legs and leaned closer, feigning interest. "Oh it's not? See, where I'm from, people are a little more respectful than that- they respond when they're spoken to, and if they have to go somewhere then they will say 'It's been lovely talking to you, but I really must be going, I have somewhere to be at midnight.' But this village doesn't seem to have any manners."

Sarada shot forward. "What did you say about us?"

"I said that I think you're a classless bunch."

"Classless?" ChoCho loomed closer to my face as well. "I'm pretty sure my parents didn't betray their home. We don't have the time to respond to trash like you-"

"_Byakugan_!" Before she had the opportunity to react, and before I could check myself, I reached forward to grab her and counter both Shikadai and Sarada. By now the room was beginning to fill, and the rustle of voices and crackle of elevated energy floated to the hallway, which only drew more spectators to our scuffle.

"Who's the trash now?!" They were strong but I was clearly stronger. This wasn't my intention, taking on three at once, in a classroom, a crowd surrounding us; I didn't intend on making people hate me more than they already did. I definitely didn't want to draw attention to myself even more, just wanted to show them that I wouldn't take their shit, but I couldn't just allow them to speak and get away with it. No one would disrespect my mother like that.

Around us the crowd grew and jeered, but no one attempted to untangle us. Suddenly, before I could take hold of Sarada whose eyes now glowed red, I saw my body rise off the floor and fly backward, slamming into the wall behind me; for a moment I thought I was imagining it as it happened so quickly. Across from me, I saw the other three go flying in the other direction, their bodies crumpling to the ground.

"WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?" Where there was no one seconds before, Naruto made himself known.


	8. 24-7

**Thanks again for sticking with me! :)**

**NOTE: I've had some questions why Ayana wasn't suspended too- wouldn't they be much more lenient on their own villagers? Naruto knows that Ayana wants nothing more than to leave so he forces her to stay on in the Academy after her outburst. She'll be punished in other ways and isn't receiving special treatment! More will be revealed later as to the "why's"!**

* * *

_I know what it means to you anytime_

_All day, every week, for you_

_I'll be there to listen and believe in you_

_It's the same thing that I really need from you_

_Time_

_We only get so much time_

_And you can hit my line like 24/7, 24/7, 24/7_

_I'll be there to listen anytime_

"_24/7" The Neighbourhood_

The crowd had dispersed to the perimeter of the room, leaving space for Naruto who was now in the middle of the room and seething, the sensei standing calmly beside him.

"Shikadai, Sarada, ChoCho- go with Shino."

"But we didn't-" Shikadai started to protest.

"I SAID GO!" he barked. In a flash they were out the door with the sensei on their heels.

"And you." He spun around, his body bursting into the orange chakra I witnessed the day before. "Come with me."

I began to lift myself off the ground, hyper aware that my ankle was bent oddly.

"As for everyone else, class is canceled. GO." The rest of the class spared no time and fled the room within seconds, their excited whispers echoing down the hall. Great. More to discuss.

He turned back to me, eyes ablaze. "What the fuck was that? A fight? I was just talking to Shino about how well everything went yesterday, and then I see you in a fight?"

"Yesterday went well?" I echoed, ignoring the rest of his response. We had that breakthrough, but we mostly ate in silence for dinner, him regarding me and me attempting to avoid his eyes as I regained my strength.

"I thought we had a good day training yesterday, yes." He sighed, placing his index fingers on his temples and closed his eyes. "I thought today you'd have a good day in your first class. I thought today we'd have another productive training session. I thought I could trust you to not get in fights with other students."

I placed my hands on the wall and tried to lift myself off the ground; my ankle cracked loudly. "To be fair," I ventured to say, "I did say you didn't know me." Clearly though I didn't know myself either because that wasn't the goal I had in mind when confronting them.

His eyes narrowed at my comment but traveled to my ankle. "You're hurt."

"Yeah...you kind of threw me against a wall and I landed on it," I replied dryly.

He sighed again. "Let's go to Sakura. We'll see what she can do so we can train today. We're not just quitting because you have an ankle injury. The Chunin exams are in a few weeks and I want you to be prepared."

"Oh, I still have to do those…"

"Yes, you still have to 'do those.' I told you that the first day. Your mother requested you to stay here. I am doing what she asked and training you for life here and the perils out there. What is it about that that will not just stick in your goddamn head?" His voice grew louder with each sentence. "I'm not just training you for the hell of it!"

Hobbling forward toward the door, I cast my eyes to the floor and didn't respond. I fucked up. Big time.

"Here. Let me carry you," he said, his tone suddenly calm. "It'll be faster than watching you pitifully limp along."

This was different, I had to admit; my mother never put my on her shoulders or carried me. I needed to be self-sufficient, always, no matter the outcome of a fight. I couldn't count how many times I had "pitifully limped" to the hospital. I considered this as we walked outside and past the first of my new classmates; as they saw us coming they scattered, but I still knew the fight was the talk of the day.

In the hospital the nurse frowned as she ushered me, still in Naruto's arms, to a private room. "I thought you might be coming when I saw the others come," she stated simply. "I'll get Sakura; she's with Sarada right now."

Naruto and I exchanged glances quickly with each other and looked away. Wonderful. They were hurt too...but it was a mystery if that was due to him or me.

"Look, I'm...sorry," I said breaking the ice.

"I know you are," he replied. "Just try to relax right now. Tensions are high- lay back and relax. You'll have time for apologies later." He settled into the chair next to me and attempted a grin.

"Sarada, I told you I don't want to hear another wo-"

"Mom, please let me explain!"

Outside the room, voices approached.

"No. We discussed this already. You need to be civil."

"I was! She-"

"Sarada. Please. Your father is fine. Shikadai's dad is fine. Everyone is fine. She is not a threat and I expect you to be more civil than you have been. You don't have to be her friend, but you need to not cause trouble...or comply with any trouble," she added, probably to a look of disapproval from her daughter. "She lost her mother, do you understand? No. You wouldn't. You do not understand the pain of losing your only family. Why don't you ask your father about that sometime? He'd _love_ to discuss that. It affects people; it messes with them. So please. _Try_ to be a little more understanding. She's going through a lot and her mother asked us to look after her. There's so much more that is out of your hands and even my hands, but I need you to just do me one favor and just be a _decent_ person during this time- you may eventually be asked to do more, just as your father is right now." Her last comment sounded ominous. "Now please. You're fine. Go home and make yourself useful. You're suspended from the academy for three days after all."

At her last words, footsteps drew closer and both Naruto and I jumped, scrambling to make it look like we weren't listening.

Sakura appeared at the door and she forced a smile on her face. "Hello! I wasn't expecting to see _you_ here today!"

She walked over to my ankle and immediately began moving and prodding me; she didn't meet my eyes. Naruto flicked my arm, prodding me forward for an unknown reason. I saw it as my time to apologize.

"H-hey...I'm sorry...I shouldn't have…" I struggled for the right words because even though I was sorry, I was only sorry that I did that to the child of the woman who was kind enough to let me stay at her house; I still felt like they somewhat deserved it.

"It's okay, really. It's a big change and I know they weren't making it easy for you. You don't know who you can trust and anyone who is less than welcoming is an automatic threat." This time she smiled up at me. Wow. She pinned me exactly. Again, I felt a wall build in my chest just as it did with Naruto the day before.

"Well, you're good to go!" Sakura stood. "Just go easy on her today, Naruto. As much as you can." She winked and floated out of the room.

I gingerly tried to stand. "So," I said. "What's my punishment?"

"Well, suspension would be a vacation for you, I think, so the best thing for you is to just be in that class and not create trouble. Okay?"

"Create it?" I echoed. "So...you know that I was the one who definitely started it?"

"Of course." He laughed. "You think those kids would just go after a random student? Our children aren't like that," he added at the end, the comment punching me in the stomach. Did he think my village was like that?

"It's just tense all the way around right now. There's a lot happening beyond these walls and everyone knows it has a chance of making it here."

"...is that what you meant by training me for 'perils'?"

"Yes. I'm training you for if people come after you. They are out there investigating this right now so hopefully this doesn't reach you."

I bristled. "Well, those kids made it clear they don't want their fathers involved in issues that also has to do with my mother, so I can take responsibility and go out to take care of them myself. I didn't ask anyone to go out there to fight my battles."

"This isn't just your battle, Ayana," he replied firmly.

"I didn't ask them to do that."

"Nobody said you needed to. We do this for our people."

"I'm not 'your' people! I can do this myself!" Once again I could feel an argument rising.

"Can you?" Naruto turned on me, his figure eclipsing the sun and creating a shadow over me. "Because I don't think you know the first thing about what's out there. Actually," he added, "I _know_ you don't know the first thing about your life!"

"Excuse me?" My life?

He turned to keep walking but stopped a few feet ahead. "Again, keep being stubborn. You can keep believing what you want to believe. I said I'd be an open book but you aren't asking the right questions and seem to have no desire to. I'm here to prepare you the best I can, but I know I can't do that without you being willing to be open to people more than just yourself; you have to meet me halfway, Ana."

"I-" I started but then stopped talking. Ana?

"Only my mother ever called me Ana…" My voice sounded unsure.

The Hokage kept on walking as though he didn't hear me.


	9. Secrets of Last Night

**This chapter starts to delve into the secrets Naruto is keeping from Ayana, and the secrets the village is keeping from Naruto. Thank you so much for sticking with this. Please let me know what you think!**

* * *

_I'm still frustrated from last night_

_Things happened in half-time, I'm sick of the bends_

_My panic research was no help_

_I sink into myself_

_Afraid of the fall that never ends_

"_Last Night" Motion City Soundtrack_

"Heard about what happened today." Tsunade stood in the doorway of her old office, now occupied by the seventh Hokage who was feverishly scribbling his way through paperwork that documented the fight earlier that day.

"Mhm." Naruto didn't look up.

Tsunade continued to stand in the threshold, wondering if she should go in and offer advice or if she should retreat and let Naruto sort through his emotions on his own. He was obviously used to dealing with opposition in his past, but not as an adult and in the form of a teenage girl who was a reminder of a past he never let go.

She decided to cross the doorway. "So talk to me."

"There's nothing to talk about." More scribbling.

"Oh really...not the fact that you broke your new student's ankle, or fractured the wrist of Sakura's daughter throwing them across the classroom? Or the fact that you worked her so hard this afternoon that it sounds like, from what Sakura told me, she's going to be out for the rest of the night? She's in bad shape."

Naruto finally looked up. "What is it you're trying to say, Grandma? What do you want?"

Tsunade sighed, placing her fingers on either side of the bridge of her nose. "Don't let your emotions get in the way, Naruto. I know this is different from anything you've dealt with before but you're here to train her...not kill her."

"I wasn't trying to hurt her! She just needs to _listen_. She needs to learn that she doesn't know it all, that people have to help her. I'm pushing her."

Tsunade considered him with a raised eyebrow for a few moments before speaking, trying to find the best words that would make him listen. "You're pushing her, huh… Yeah. Yeah, you are. But you want to know something else, Naruto? You're scared. You're scared for her and for us and people already see, day three, that that's getting in the way of your training. And I would be willing to bet you won't even tell her why you're scared, have you-"

"No."

"So she doesn't know-"

"_God_ no."

Tsunade pursed her lips and stood for a few more seconds. "Sounds like you have the perfect student for your personality. But you need to separate your feelings and-"

"People didn't always tell me things, you know, you included! Sometimes people just aren't ready. She is _not_ ready, Tsunade. I understand your concerns but the Akatsuki are on our doorstep, the Union as a whole is in deeper shit than we thought now that the second Union is in pure chaos. Her village is _burning_, Tsunade." He pounded a fist on his desk. "Burning. After Hinata died the whole village went up in flames. Gone. How can I just tell someone that? Or tell her...other things." He shook the thought away. "She has to stay here and I have to prepare her- my way. The way _I_ see fit."

Two knocks sounded at the door. The fifth and seventh Hokages turned to see the sixth leaning casually in the doorway. "Ah. So I see we both had the same ideas," Kakashi deadpanned.

"Are you here to criticize me now too?" Naruto casually waved his hand in Tsunade's direction.

Kakashi raised his eyebrows. "Wow, a little snippy. Not what I expected."

"Yeah, well, everyone's pissing me off today…" he mumbled and tried to turn back to his paperwork.

"You know, Naruto, you've pissed me off a lot too." Kakashi was suddenly sitting cross legged on the papers scattered all over the desk. He eased his face close to Naruto's. "Kids do that. They push you."

"But, Kakashi, I wasn't-"

Kakashi held his hand in front of Naruto's face. "Tsunade's right, Naruto, don't let your emotions get the best of you because you _won't_ be able to teach her the best to your abilities or even her's."

"She just thinks she knows everything," Naruto grumbled. "About here, about her mom. I'm trying to give her opportunities to learn by setting her up in the academy and working with me, but she's fucking up every gate I set up for her to learn and is just so… defensive."

"Huh. Defensive. Thinks she knows everything. Hm. I think I remember having a student like that… I might have some tips…"

"I _am_ working her to the bone," Naruto said dryly.

"Have you tried talking to her without getting defensive back?" Kakashi asked.

"I told her I'm open to anything she wants to ask but she's just not _asking_! She just acts like she _knows_ when she obviously doesn't know _shit_!" He pounded his hand on the desk again, sending a stack of papers whatever-jutsuing into the wind. "Great. She acts like she can do this on her own but doesn't understand the first thing about what's going on- that's why I want her at the academy, to help her understand her village and the background, to then maybe piece together why things are happening the way they are. She thinks she can go out there and be the hero when she doesn't even know _what_ it is she's trying to fight, and she can't wrap her head around the fact that this isn't just about her! She's so...so…" His mind fought to find the right word. "_...self-centered_!"

Tsunade and Kakashi exchanged glances. "Have you considered that she feels she needs to take this on by herself because it's personal to her? Because it killed her mother?"

"Well, yeah, but-"

"Hang on, let me keep going. She doesn't care how this threat affects the Leaf Village because she doesn't feel a connection here, she's just focused on her home-that's understandable right now. Show her a connection, show her why this can be her home too... which I know is what you're trying to do," he added to Naruto opening his mouth in protest. "Don't just get mad and try to force her because she'll resist it. Be understanding, be her sensei, _teach_ her. But also…" Kakashi stopped for a second to help Naruto understand the weight of his next comment.

"But also be wary and vigilant. There's clearly darkness in her heart and the only thing she had was her mother, so she obviously wants to avenge that. Don't let her get wrapped up with the wrong people to make that happen. I believe that's why Hinata asked Sasuke to do this all those years ago- he understands the allure of revenge. Don't let her heart harden and stray. It's more important than anything to keep her here...don't start pushing her away. Be open with knowledge and focus on sharing what you know, not getting angry when she pushes back. And maybe you should get Sasuke back here to talk with her; I would be willing to go in his place."

Naruto stared at them for a few seconds, trying to find the words to say. They were right, they were always right.

Kakashi smiled. "They never stop being your students, you know. You can always teach them." He jumped off the desk and disappeared, leaving just Tsunade and Naruto. They looked at each other, trying to find out where to pick up after so much was just said.

"You are a really lucky man, you know that?" Tsunade took up the lead. "Considering everything, really lucky. And I should know about luck." She disappeared from the room in a flash too, leaving Naruto again alone with his thoughts. He felt a metaphorical pressure on his heart. He didn't know if it was the foreboding of the new Akatsuki, still not knowing what they truly wanted, or if he could attribute it to the weight of the Village, this one girl the last straw that would break the camel's back.

All he knew was that he had so much to say and didn't have the words to do so.

* * *

Outside on the roof, Tsunade climbed up beside Kakashi. "Speaking of keeping secrets… You need to tell him about the prophecy."

Kakashi didn't look at her, focusing on the setting sun behind the trees. "No way...he's still not ready yet. We knew that," he replied softly.

"Then we're just as bad as he is with her. He needs to know, Kakashi. Sasuke knows, Shikamaru knows. That's the real the Akatsuki is back and you know it. That's the whole reason Hinata left. And if Naruto doesn't know then he can't lead the Village to the best of his abilities. We're just prolonging the inevitable. "

"He hasn't even told her yet so how can we prepare him for the prophecy if he hasn't told her…?"

"Just think about it, Kakashi. Eventually he needs to know. And the longer we wait, I think the worse off we- and he- will be."


	10. Kids

_I guess it doesn't matter anyway_

_I don't care about nothing but you_

_I guess it doesn't matter anyway_

_'Cause I don't care about nothing_

_And I had it maxed out_

_I had a feeling_

_Nothing is working_

_And everything's bleeding_

"_Kids" PUP_

_It's coming._

Sakura stared at several crumpled pieces of parchment that she laid out in front of her. Now that Sasuke was gone on a mission, she was trying to piece together the broken communication he and Hinata had over the years.

"_It's coming"_ was the second to the last note sent, with the last one dated only two weeks after, reading "_It is here. I am sacrificing myself to give time for Ayana to escape to you. Please be ready." _Hinata then referred back to her original notice she gave Sasuke of where to meet Ayana and the password. It felt eerie, as though Hinata was reaching through time sixteen years in the future, sending a message about what she could see. Heart wrenching. She couldn't imagine holding and protecting Sarada, a sweet, tiny, helpless newborn, while simultaneously knowing she would most likely die, leaving her daughter alone in the world. The whole situation was unimaginable.

But she then noticed another reference strung throughout random updates on Ayana and inquiries about the state of the village: a prophecy. Wait...

"_Orochimaru_," she whispered, her eyes widening at her new realization.

Between notes that buoyed between worry about Ayana growing up with hate in her heart after her mother inevitably passes away and confidence that she made the right decision by starting a new village, Hinata always referenced a prophecy discovered by one of Orochimaru's pawns. Her letters would swing from being scared it was going to come true, to a few months later feeling safe and nestled in her new life, now with a daughter, the prophecy not going to come true in the slightest.

That's it. That was the real reason Hinata went to Sasuke. It wasn't only because he'd understand the crippling internal burn of losing her only family… it was because he would know about the prophecy, and his proximity to the source might give some sort of knowledge to stave it off. But obviously what knowledge he did have was of no help because Ayana was here and Hinata was dead.

_Again, please don't disclose to Naruto._

Sakura's heart pounded at the memory of a memory. She had heard whispers of this prophecy from ages ago… and she knew why Naruto couldn't know. The only reason she even knew was because she walked in on Sasuke and Kakashi whispering about it. They said he would have ushered it in immediately, and with the village already littered from war, they couldn't handle more conflict; then it quickly folded away in the back of her mind because, as they said seventeen years ago, it wouldn't come true. But now… was it coming true? Should Naruto know that-

_SLAM. _The front door banging shut brought Sakura back to her senses and her ears picked up on a low guttural sound. She immediately recognized it the full cough and sputtering in the front hall- blood. Someone was choking on blood.

She ran to the foyer to find Ayana on her hands and knees, blood dripping from her lips.

"Oh my God!"

She immediately bent down to pick her up but Ayana shooed her away weakly. "No, it's okay… I'm okay…"

"What happened?!"

Ayana shakily stood. "It was just...an extra rough...training session." She wiped the blood from her lips, yet her eyes sparkled. "But it was good."

Sakura raised an eyebrow. "Did _Naruto_ do this to you?" she asked. "How hard did he work you? You look…" She tried to find the words to say as she looked her up and down.

Sakura watched her for a moment, trying to make sense of what she was seeing. Though he was Ayana's sensei now and obvious mentor, she saw an issue with...this. Yes, she should be prepared, and he wanted to prepare her for life here but...it was clear he maybe was too tough on her.

"I think I just need sleep…" Sakura watched as she limped past and frowned, realizing Ayana's ankle was bruised and swollen again. She needed to go talk to someone, but who? She had some options. Kakashi? Tsunade? Sasuke was gone. Who would know what to do? Watching the girl limp slowly up the stairs, she knew Tsunade would be the best option. Not only would she know what to do about this situation in general, she'd also know more about this prophecy.

"Ayana...I need to look at your ankle again…" Sakura offered. Second time in one day. Great.

Ayana looked back at her and trudged on. "Later."

Sakura bit her lip and watched her go, and she decided to go speak to Tsunade before she did anything else.

**Ayana's POV**

I limped up the stairs, knowing I was ultimately okay; I probably looked worse than I felt. Sakura's eyes burned on my back and I know she was worried, but I also needed alone time to process what had just happened. My mind screamed at me to not even think of it but...I thought that might have been the best training session I had ever had.

After Naruto had walked out of my hospital room, I waited a few minutes before chasing after him. He had just called me Ana. There was no way he knew that was my mother's nickname, but regardless it squeezed my heart in a way that made me so uncomfortable- it scraped at my heart, sandpaper to open wound, and I felt exposed again.

My legs carried after him, catching up to him just outside the hospital doors. "Hey!" I yelled. "What was that?!"

He continued to walk away from me, not bothering to even turn around to tell me to go away. He just ignored my presence and floated quickly across the campus.

"HEY!" Why was he ignoring me? How_ dare _he? I reached up to grab his shoulder, hearing my mother scolding me in my ear, but before I could shoo my mother's voice from my head he reached around and grabbed my wrist, turning on me as he did.

"Can't you tell when people don't want to talk?" he growled. "For someone who acts like she knows everything you really can't pick up on easy queues."

I reeled backwards, honestly surprised by his response. "Aren't we still supposed to train today?"

He flung my arm off him but didn't walk away. "It's difficult to talk to someone who doesn't want to listen," he replied.

"Look, all I was saying back there was that this is my fight," I sputtered. "This is between me and my mother's killers. I know you say my mother wanted me here...for some reason...but it's not that easy. I can't just let someone else who doesn't know her as well as I do take over!" I could feel my heart rate start to rise just wanting him to see where I was coming from. "I can't just sit back while her killers are out there! You just don't understand! You're here telling me that I don't know 'my life', yet I'm here ready for any knowledge, trying to be here like she wanted, and you haven't said anything! I am wasting my time! "

Naruto's eyes met mine silently, probing me, an unreadable expression on face as though looking for something he couldn't find no matter how hard he tried. "No," he finally responded. "As much as I appreciate a good underdog story, and I like that you feel so confident with wanting to go out there to fight this, this is _way_ out of your hands. You need to trust me and understand that it's not all about you and your struggles. You don't know what's out there."

"Then _train_ me!"

"I AM TRYING!" His fist hit the wall next to us and I watched a large crack materialize up the brick, small pieces of debris crumbling off. My eyes widened at his strength; it didn't look like he used any force, barely touching it.

"How long are you going to be stuck in your head, Ayana, us always the enemy?" he cried. "How can you progress if you're too busy mouthing off, thinking only about yourself? Without trust and someone to back you, you're only so powerful. You can't do this alone. People build you up- you _need_ me right now."

"Need?!" We stood staring into each other's eyes for a moment, two pairs of blue eyes flashing, both seething. "You think I _need_ you?! Is that the biggest reason I'm forced to stay- because you somehow think that just because my mother was from here that I _need_ you?!"

"Then you fight me! Prove to me that you can do this since you believe you can do this without any help!"

Instantly I faltered. Fight the Hokage? Really fight him? By now we had moved closer, two magnets revolving around each other, but I still didn't feel like I could overpower him. Yet the invitation was here, so how could I say no?

"_Byakugan_!" I yelled, feeling a little out of place. We were still in front of the hospital, out in the open for everyone to see. "_Eight trigrams sixty-four palms_!"

I immediately gave it my all, knowing that it would probably hurt me in the long run going all in so fast. He clearly was faster. He burst into an orange glow and repelled, a blue ball in his hand. And then? Well. I'm not sure. I believe I blacked out because when I opened my eyes again, I was lying across the campus, staring up into the sky. I could feel hot blood trickling down my nose.

I tried to sit up, placing my arms behind me and pushed up, forcing what strength I had left- he had drained me, whatever move that was. My legs ran forward, not even feeling the ground, and I reached my arm out again but he caught it in his grip.

"I can't tell you anything if you continue to think you just have this on your own because you _don't_!" he hissed. "I can't just tell you things and watch you leave this village." I forced myself forward but he threw me back, my body bouncing against the ground a second time.

Again. My body kept pouncing at the pounding, addicted to the rush I felt at a worthy opponent, someone going just as hard against me as I was him. It was the outlet I needed, more pent up rage oozing from my body. Even though I knew he was stronger, I couldn't stop putting myself in the line of danger; even though I knew the outcome of me throwing myself at him, I didn't want to stop.

Then I felt it. The final blow. He hit me harder than he ever had, sending me backwards, the wind knocked out of my ribcage. My head hit the pavement and this time I didn't have the strength to go back at him.

The clouds moved listlessly above me, impervious to the fight that was happening below and Naruto's face suddenly loomed in the corner of my vision. He was gripping his shoulder, but he held his arm out for me to take.

"You have the anger," he announced. "You have the anger needed to fuel your strength. I just need you to stop for a second and just consider what I said: You aren't the only one who ever knew your mother; you aren't the only one who has ever had troubles. You aren't the only one who misses her! And you definitely don't have a monopoly on pain over her! And if you continue to think you are the only one in the world who can handle this when you don't have a clue, you will _die_."

He kept saying that- _It's not all about you. Listen. Trust me._ But I couldn't get over having to trust someone I didn't know, people whom I heard were the enemies my whole life. How could I trust that he was going to do what was right and avenge my mother's death? To find the people who were responsible? This was personal to me… wasn't I the only one who had the drive to do this? But wasn't it possible that he was right that I could die if I didn't take help?

I continued to stare at him, at his hand that was outstretched to help me physically and symbolically, an olive branch._ Do I take it? Or do I just hobble home on my own?_


	11. Interlude

**INTERLUDE**

Sakura walked to the door, not feeling much better after her meeting with Tsunade. If anything it just reinforced her worries because Tsunade agreed.

"Just remember that her presence is just trudging up memories," Tsunade summarized their evening, opening the door to the night. "Naruto is worried about the village, about us, about new danger, and now she shows up. It's a lot at once and honestly the perfect storm. We'll watch him; we'll all delicately hold the reigns without him knowing. And if it gets to a point where he absolutely needs to know, which may be soon, then we'll tell him. Okay? I can see the worry on your face too, but please try not to; I'll go talk to Naruto, you just focus on your family right now."

Sakura just nodded and crossed the threshold into blackness, and she felt it in her heart. The uncertainty. The changes that have been creeping for months and were arriving at their doorstep, just like the night. "That sounds wonderful," she said. And then she shut the door behind her, facing the all-encompassing darkness that would follow her home.


	12. Cough Syrup

In this chapter Ayana realizes that Naruto may be more of a comrade than she realized before and begins to crack open to let some of the Leaf Village in. Thank you so much for sticking with this!

* * *

_If I could find a way to see this straight, I'd run away_

_To some fortune that I, I should have found by now_

_And so I run to the things they said could restore me_

_Restore life the way it should be_

_I'm waiting for this cough syrup to come down_

"_Cough Syrup" Young the Giant_

In the morning, I ran face first into Sarada; I was opening the door to the bathroom as she was walking out and we both jumped backwards in surprise. It was the first time we had seen each other since our fiasco the morning before.

We locked eyes and stood there for a moment, unsure of what to say. After the training I had the night before, Naruto-sensei's- was I really going to call him sensei?- words echoed in my brain and I knew I had to break the ice. I had to start to extend some kind of olive branch back.

"Hey..." I started.

"I'm sorry," we then both blurted at the same time. "Oh!"

"I'm _really_ sorry for how I acted," Sarada said, offering the first white flag. "That was unfair to...you know...be so judgmental of you."

"I'm sorry for starting a fight," I extended. "That wasn't my intention at all...and if anything it just kind of ruined my reputation even more." My eyes focused on the ground, unable to meet hers.

"I'm sorry that we were quick to judge. We never really have a lot of…"

"Outsiders?" I finished. "Yeah. I know things have been pretty locked down the last couple of years in all villages."

We both stared at the ground now and the silence grew between us. I then had an idea.

"But, uh, I heard you were suspended and I feel like it's entirely my fault, so, um, I'll bring you the notes from everything you missed today."

Sarada smiled at me, the first smile I had received from her. "That would be really nice of you. Thanks!"

We parted ways, satisfied expressions on our faces, and I felt the most comfortable I had since I arrived.

But that comfort was slashed short. People averted glances from me as I walked through the academy to class, one by one as I passed them in the halls. I again plopped down as close to the front as possible to avoid having to sit next to anyone and couldn't help but automatically feel defensive now- my body tensed into fight or flight feeling stares boring into the back of my head as people arrived to class. I was no longer the strange girl from an enemy land who could _potentially _be a threat to their lives, I was now the girl who fought their classmates; I _proved_ myself to be a threat, and even though I promised myself I wouldn't get into a fight again, their suspicion of me was thick and tangible. What if someone tried to attack me today? At home we would absolutely make the first move: if people could potentially hurt you, you hurt them first. Was their culture like that too? And would I have to just sit there and take it? What would Naruto-sensei do if I fought back today?

As Shino sensei arrived in class, my mind continued to spiral around all the different possibilities in equal suspicion as they held over me. The slam of the door at the back of the room instantly brought me out of my head and back to reality.

"The second union," he announced. "Take out your notes; today is note heavy.

"Let's talk the historical background which will lead us into cultural differences." He took out a piece of chalk and began scribbling rapidly on the board as a few students groaned behind his back. "Now, I know you think this is boring," he continued, "that it's unnecessary to have to learn what happened; just give me the main events, you think. However, you need to understand the historical context in order to understand their culture and the split from ours. While abroad you may notice a lot of the same values in your enemies, but to infiltrate and blend in, to think as they do, to _truly _be able to strategize, you to understand where they are coming from and the differences between them and you. Knowing the opponent's history can be the difference between life or death."

He paused to let his words sink in but all it did was make my heart race faster. What was he about to say about my village? What are these 'cultural differences' that he thought he knew? "After the last war we know that part of allied villages and even our own split to create a new shinobi union. We already discussed the union as a whole and don't need to get into those specifics again, but let's focus on the reasons they split.

"The first shinobi village created after the split was the Hidden Ash Village, or more commonly known as the Hidden Whispers Village though the two names do not seem to have immediate connection." He wrote the name on the board.

Instantly I began to feel like I was floating, hovering a few inches above my seat as I dissociated from my body. This was the first sign of a panic attack washing over me, and my breathing became more shallow with every syllable of my village's name he spoke. Since arriving, this was the first time I heard my village's name spoken aloud. Though I screamed it inside my head several times a day, fighting to remember the smells, sounds, and tastes, it felt different hearing it aloud. Inside it could be a secret only I knew and I could control it; inside me it was safe and sound, only a place I knew, and in my head my life was still the way it always was with my mother still alive, my sensei and team members beside my side. But spoken aloud by someone who had never even step foot there felt like betrayal, and the truth came washing over me at the same rate as my panic attack. By hearing someone else say its name, its identity was open for others to peer into even though they had no idea what it was like; they could stain its name with sticky fingertips, blase about how they corrupted its image. This place didn't matter to them. It was just another enemy, another village to analyze as though they could truly ever understand. And in their heads the truth could spill out: the village's leader, my mother, was dead.

"-seventeen years ago it was founded by a previous local of the Leaf Village." After swirling around my head, my soul came crashing back into my body.

"Now, notice the symbolism of the name: ash village. This is in direct reference to the Land of Fire, where a few leaders had lived. It's difficult to cut complete ties to a home and properties you possess."

My hand shot up before I could even think of my next actions.

Shino's eyes locked onto mine. "Yes…?"

"That's incorrect. Though yes, some of the village is from the...this land...that's not why it's named that. It's from the idea of restart and rebirth. After the horrors so many experienced here, it was important to create a village that focused heavily around the idea of being able to start over."

Shino-sensei stood looking at me for a moment without saying a word. Around me I could hear murmurs begin to rise. I just continued to stare into Shino's eyes, not having more to add yet had so much to say just waiting on the tip of my tongue.

Finally he continued. "Thank you for the further explanation, Ayana," he said. "It is actually refreshing to have another who can add onto what we are learning. How invaluable for all of us here."

I know he didn't mean it this way, but I couldn't help but think that maybe there was an undercurrent to his comment: that I was actually giving them the ways and information they needed to defeat my village if it ever came to that.

"They are more commonly known as the Village of Whispers for both their infamy of overly secret ways and ability of blending in with their surroundings; often they are undetected not from any specific jutsu, but from their village-developed training in espionage."

Ha. What a joke. While I thought that was the truth, that I had some special ability in blending in with my surroundings, I stuck out here- there was nowhere to hide in this village where I was a stranger, or this classroom where I could still feel eyes glued to the back of my head.

"While they also offer their services to their own union, they do not allow anyone from an outside village to step inside. Those seeking help must meet ahead with the village's _haikage_ outside the village walls. They are a village that prides itself on its privacy and as a result are people who are always on high alert beyond what is expected. While others may be more forgiving at first, as a whole they are a group of people suspicious of all they come across. ...mmm, yes, question?"

"So wouldn't that make them just paranoid?" someone behind me asked. Again, I could feel all eyes rest on me as my body froze.

"Yes, you could say that, I guess," Shino responded. Paranoid? Would I consider myself an anxious mess all the time, always looking behind my back? Always ready at an instant? These examples of paranoia without context just made me sound crazy...but aren't those just qualities of a good ninja?

"Now this bleeds into their culture and interactions with one another. For being so suspicious of others, they work in teams of three as we do, a tradition introduced from their haikage in its establishment."

_So that's where that came from! _This was a piece of information even I never knew.

"-However, from what information I was able to gather, they do have separate training with their sensei and teammates for months to learn to trust each other before actually going out on their first mission, though it is unclear what this training entails. Like I said, secretive." I caught his eyes flash to me for a millisecond, something I don't think I would have caught had I not already been on such high alert- _not_ from paranoia, but from feeling like the center of this entire discussion.

I could feel the elephant in the room: what _does_ that training look like? I held the key to their question. My heart ached for Masuku-sensei and the three months he spent with the three of us in the forest training: laughing over the midnight fire, the carried sounds stopping before they had a chance to travel so far to another group; the thunderstorm that drenched us on our last mission, us huddling together for warmth; the wind blowing my hair violently around my face as Masuku hugged me the day before my mother died and announced that he would always love us no matter what, though I thought it was strange but didn't know it would be the last time I would see him or my comrades.

"They value that trust overall because of the time they take to cultivate it and as a result feel they cannot trust anyone outside."

I couldn't help it, I had to interrupt. "I'm sorry I just...we can't trust anyone because of where we came from." This was my time to truly explain, to not let someone tell my story for me. "It's not that we are just suspicious of others just because. Imagine having your whole family killed and having no one: that's exactly what happened to my mother and so many others, so they left to establish a village where that theoretically couldn't happen again. They want to use their skills to help others, but my mother's whole goal was to cultivate a land where we never had to worry about losing our families to frivolous wars ever again. We're cautious to make sure we can truly trust the people we come into contact with. You make us sound crazy and paranoid, but really we're just self-preserving."

"How has that worked out for you all?" someone behind me piped in.

I turned. "What?"

"How has that worked out? I mean...didn't your mother get killed anyway?" The tone he used wasn't mean, but it still stung. "Even with all this protection? Wasn't she the leader?"

"Hey…" Shino still growled in warning.

I didn't realize that anyone really knew that."That...that was…" I fought for any words to say but my tongue dried out and hung heavy in my mouth, unable to form sounds for a moment. Heat rose in my face as all eyes penetrated me and waited for me to speak. Finally I found words to save myself, my people.

"I'm not going to let someone spread total misinformation; we aren't paranoid, we just want to live. We care about our families. We care about ourselves. My mother died to protect me, to protect _us_. All of us." The blood continued rising in my face, my mouth now backing up with words and I couldn't filter them in time. "I don't see your Hokage sacrificing himself to save your village!"

The class erupted. "Whoa, whoa," Shino reached his arm out as though he could stop the flood of anger now emanating toward me. "Whoa. Okay. Let's keep going."

"Really?" the person who asked the question spat at me. "You're working with him and you have the audacity to say that? You don't know how lucky you are! Don't you _dare_ disrespect the Hokage like that!"

"Hey," Shino reprimanded again. "We're done. Let's drop this and keep going!" He turned to me, a way to offer peace even though inside I felt like a scared dog backed into the wall, ready to attack. "Your mother sacrificed herself for her people just in the same way as our Hokage would."

"How do you know that?!" I blurted. The filter in my brain was clearly in flames now. "Don't compare them! Don't act like you know her and what you're talking about!"

Shino's face just dropped. He stared at me for a few seconds, expressionless. Around me all students fell silent as we all watched him, wondering what he was going to say next. _Shit_, I thought. _What did I say? _

He then began to shake his head slowly. "I don't think you know what you're talking about. So let's just continue."

My eyes widened; that wasn't the response I was expecting. Shino turned back to the board, blase to our back-and-forth.

"We will skip some information for the time being; I don't want to step on any toes anymore today. We will end on this note for today: after the Haikage perished the village was set on fire."

FIRE? Turning to ice, my stomach dropped. "Fire?" I blurted. "That...what? What do you mean it's on fire? It's not on fire." Every face I ever grew up with flashed before my eyes. This couldn't be right.

"Yes...didn't...didn't you know that?" Shino asked. "I figured this would be something you knew since you were there… I'm so sorry… The Hokage found out after you arrived. There was no other news with it," he added.

By this point I had already sprung from my seat and was bounding up the stairs at the end of his sentence. I needed to get out of here to learn the truth. Fire? My village? The news was too much to bear in a room full of strangers who didn't have their whole world literally melting before their eyes.

The academy doors burst open to give way to blazing sunlight. Blazing. Fire. It wasn't fair. Why couldn't it have been them? This village? These kids? Who sat in the classroom and judged my village, my culture, with no repercussions? Who were safe and sound without having to always look behind their back? Who didn't have the same cautious rituals but could still survive without them? What about me? Who was always careful but it still wasn't enough? It wasn't enough. It wasn't enough. It wasn't-

"HEY!" Someone caught my arm as my numb legs tried to carry me away from the horror I just learned. The person spun me back and I fell into their chest. Running kept the tears at bay but they now threatened to spill over, hot and wet, uncaring into the person in front of me. "Whoa, where are you going?"

The Hokage. I recognized the raspy voice, one of the only constants of my last week no matter the tiffs we got into, and my brain instantly broke. My knees buckled and I began to sob loudly, gripping onto his shirt to keep from hitting the ground.

"What happened?" He grasped me and pulled me up and I couldn't help but cling closer to him. Something. Anyone.

"I want to go home," I sobbed. "I miss her so much! I miss them all! They're gone! They are all gone! It's gone... It's gone..."

Naruto didn't speak but just pulled me closer. He knew that no words could fix now. Instead he stood sturdy and let me scream into him, the strong buoy to cling to as everything else in my life shattered and washed away from me.

"Why! Why! Why did this happen?!" Naruto only gripped me tighter. Between my sobs, the tiniest thought budded: I was sorry for what I said in class. If he let a strange girl cry and throw a fit in the middle of a street while he held her, he would absolutely sacrifice himself for his village.

I wasn't sure how much time had passed of me sobbing before he finally spoke. His voice was raspy as though he was holding in tears and it was so quiet I almost missed it. "I miss her too," he had said.

We continued to stand there, huddled together, joined together by mutual pain. I knew then, from his voice, that I could totally trust Naruto Uzumaki.


	13. Grief

"_Grief fills the room up of my absent child,_

_Lies in his bed, walks up and down with me,_

_Puts on his pretty looks, repeats his words,_

_Remembers me of all his gracious parts."_

"_The Life and Death of King John" Shakespeare _

The next afternoon Naruto and Sasuke sat across from each other, papers spread out on the table in front of them: maps, copies of letters, and hastily written notes Sasuke had collected during his mission.

"We have reason to believe that Hinata's murder and the Ash Village's distruction was an inside job," Sasuke announced.

"What?" Naruto asked. He was visibly confused. "How?"

"We were able to gather some evidence that the village was set on fire as a cover for those responsible to escape. Our understanding is that there had been more tension going on within the village that those outside weren't as privy to until the aftermath."

"What's the motive?" Naruto picked up a letter and examined it for a moment before putting it back down. "We knew it was the Akatsuki, but an _inside_ job? What are they doing in that village of all places and why did they go after her first?"

Sasuke hesitated. _Should he tell him? He is the Hokage... _"We're unsure of the full scale at the moment," he decided upon. _Later. _

"So what does this mean for us? Do you know who the people are or where they are?"

Sasuke pointed to a piece of parchment in front of him. "Masuku Iburu. We know Hinata had an idea that it was going to happen-" _because she wrote me "-_but we don't know if she knew who was behind it. If she did I'd assume she would have cast him out. There's no way Masuku could have pulled off something of this magnitude on his own, so we're still tracking down other names and Masuku's whereabouts. We have reason to believe he will attempt to come here in search of Ayana."

"Why?"

Sasuke sighed. "Masuku Iburu was Ayana's sensei," he said lowly.

"What." Naruto sat for a moment before his eyes widened. "What?! Her sensei murdered her mother?" His mind whirled for a moment.

"I know you said Kakashi was okay with taking my place and I am okay with that; I can stay here to lead reinforcements. I think we're going to need them, especially because we cannot track everyone from their village. We don't know what people may attempt to do, and we don't know how many people are aware that Ayana is here."

Naruto had his forehead in his hand. "So is he trying to kill Ayana? I know you don't know the whole story, but we need to have _something_ if you know his name."

Sasuke again hesitated. "Power," he ended on. "They overturned the Haikage, so they can use Ayana as collateral to get what they seek." _That was a half truth: she _was_ what they sought. _

"Fuck this guy." Naruto pounded a fist on the table, a surge of energy bursting through him. "We're going to get him if I have to go myself. How can he work for Hinata, mentor her child, and then destroy her and set fire to their whole home? It just doesn't add up. I expect a lot of screwed up things from these people but this is low even for them. Do you know if there were any other survivors?"

"No. We've heard rumors but are still looking."

Naruto rubbed his temples and closed his eyes, sighing loudly. "It just doesn't add up, Sasuke. Why go through all that? God… How am I going to tell her…"

"Wait. Don't tell her yet. Keep doing what you're doing."

"God but she's already so intent on going. We've argued so much. She wants to get out there but doesn't realize the full danger. And after hearing this… I don't think I can ever let her go to fight, not at the rate I'm training right now; I need to do more. This is more above her head than I thought..and if they're looking for her we can't let them know she's here. We really need more information on this motive- that's your next job."

Sasuke pursed his lips. He didn't like lying to Naruto but in this case it was necessary for the time being. Sasuke would talk to Kakashi, get the okay, and tell him the information he already knew that Naruto thought Sasuke didn't know. A lifetime ago they could hide anything from Naruto, but now as the Hokage he was no longer on a need-to-know basis.

Speaking of Kakashi… "Kakashi also asked if I'd talk to Ayana? Like you said she's really itching to leave. I completely understand why she wants to avenge her mother and I completely understand why you're not ready to let her. It's the least I could do to talk to her."

Naruto nodded. "She doesn't trust anyone. I mean, I guess I don't blame her. But we did have a breakthrough finally." He thought back to her falling apart in his arms as she realized that everything she ever knew had been destroyed. And now she may have to learn that her sensei was the cause of it all; he could only imagine how she'd react then.

"Also...have you told her...?" He paused.

Naruto's eyes snapped back to Sasuke's. "No. I thought it would be easier than this but she seems so wounded, so...defensive. She's having a more difficult time adjusting than I thought so I want to wait a little longer until I know it won't cause her to short circuit."

Sasuke nodded. "Yeah, I could see why you'd wait on that," he said, "but I think you should tell her soon." He felt like a hypocrite for telling Naruto to spill his secret when he was keeping the bombshell of all secrets from Naruto, but he kept trying-and failing- to tell himself they made the right decision by not telling him all those years ago when he was still the number one hyperactive knuckle headed ninja and not the head of their village.

_**Later that night- Ayana's POV**_

I paced nervously in the spot Naruto said to meet him at for training. After sobbing in the middle of the street the day before I went back to the Uchihas' and slept all night, but when I woke up freshly rested, instead of still feeling comforted, I just felt...embarrassed. At the time I truly did feel like Naruto was all I had, but now I just felt unsure. How could I let my guard down like that? There was something about this new day that made me look at yesterday through a new lens like I made a mistake; yesterday was black, filled with smoke, bleak...but today was all sun and clearheadedness. I felt weak the day before, but today I had the strength to find those who desecrated my village. Though I needed that comfort at the time, I didn't want to look weak to him.

"Hey!" In the distance I could see Naruto waving and bounding toward me with something in his hand. I meekly waved back.

"I brought some snacks!" he said, throwing down a few packages of food in front of me. "I figure we could train some and then eat- what's wrong, don't you like chips?"

I was still pacing and wringing my hands. "No I really like chips, thank you, I just...um...I'm really sorry about yesterday."

"Yesterday?" He frowned. "What are you sorry for about yesterday? Did you get in a fight with someone again?"

"No." I wrung my hands tighter, trying to find the words. "I just… Yesterday was a mistake." I threw my hands down to my side. "I'm sorry I fell apart like that, I'm truly embarrassed for putting that on you. That was an incredibly unusual reaction for me and it won't happen again."

Naruto continued to frown as he considered me. "I think that was a completely normal reaction," he replied. "You don't have to be sorry. You just found out in the most casual way your village had been destroyed."

"No but...that was weak. You don't have to worry about seeing that again."

"Ayana, it's okay for you to miss your mot-"

"How I acted though was totally inappropriate and you won't see that again from me, Sensei. I promise."

"No I'm telling you it's okay to-"

"No," I continued to maintain. I could feel heat rising in my face again. "Moment of weakness. I just wanted to apologize."

Naruto again stood silently and stared at me for a few seconds, mind clearly churning. "Okay," he finally said. "Okay if that's how you feel. Let's start working then."

For two hours we danced around each other again, and again he was hard on me, but no matter what I always felt like I had an outlet to release my pain and anger.

Afterwards we collapsed on the ground, reaching for the bags of snacks. "So," he panted. "Let's talk a bit. I haven't heard you say much about your village or growing up. You haven't talked much about your mother. You should feel absolutely free to."

I hesitated as I took a bite, thankful that the chewing could slow me down from speaking. "She was a great mom," I replied, swallowing the food and a lump in my throat. _Show no weakness today._

"Yeah, she was pretty great," he added on. I remembered how he sounded yesterday; though I felt embarrassed of how I acted yesterday, I did know that I could still trust that he missed her and could trust him to peer into my fond memories of her.

"She was all I had, honestly. I didn't have anyone else. My dad died before I was born so it was always just Mom and me."

Naruto peered at me at me again silently and I couldn't read his blank expression. "Oh," he finally said. "I'm so sorry."

"Yeah, I mean, I guess it wasn't really a big deal," I said. "She more than made up for a great childhood. She was extremely hard on me but she always just wanted me to be my best, you know? She's the reason I feel so strong and ready for whatever comes; she taught me that with hard work I can achieve anything. I want to still show her that I can defeat anyone for her, even in death. But she wasn't the only person who prepared me…" My mind flashed to my team, how their bodies probably lay in ruins. "Masuku-sensei was like the dad I never had. He loved my team and dropped everything for us whenever we needed, so I never felt like I was lacking with the whole parent-thing. He trained me in all the ways my mom couldn't…"

Beside me Naruto was silent again, this time staring off into the sunset. Again, I couldn't tell what he was thinking as his blank eyes squinted at the sun. "Well," he responded after a long pause. "I'm glad you were surrounded by amazing people there. I hope we can show you that this isn't such a bad place either." His head turned and his eyes pierced mine. "I'm really trying, Ayana. I'm really, really trying. I hope you're starting to see that we're on your side; I'm doing everything I can to help you in your cause. Tomorrow...tomorrow I want to really start preparing you with something new. It's hard, but I think you have the drive to achieve it."

"What is it?"

"Well, you know how you said your sensei taught you things your mom couldn't? I'm hoping I can do that too to prepare you for anything coming your way." He paused for a second as though remembering something. "I'm going to teach you the Rasengan- your mother would absolutely approve."

Above me I thought I could feel her smiling.


End file.
